Swine flu. Run for my life!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
