he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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