He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize