Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
