He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
