Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
