she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
