Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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