fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
