we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
