That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
