I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
