you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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