Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
