this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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