We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
