You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He shit in the fireplace
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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