One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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