Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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