How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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