i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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