I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize