He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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