You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
