I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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