awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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