I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
