actually, I'm a sock model
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
