Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
