i barfeds in our rink
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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