even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize