we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
