do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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