I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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