didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I CAN MOONWALK!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
