Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize