corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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