Screwed.edu
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
