i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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