I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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