She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
