Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
