oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
ttyl tear gas
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
They have beer where we have blood.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
