I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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