On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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