New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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