Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
