Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
