you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize