thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
