she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
