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• (443): View more from Maryland

  why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that only happened once.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.

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• (760): View more from California

  genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??

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