my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
