covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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