eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
