Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize