I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize