I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
