i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize