is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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