i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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