Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
