all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And then he peed in my hair
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