some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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