You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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